Responding honestly to myself

I have never had a terrible interview but I haven't been hired often either, actually I have not had interviews that exceed the palm of my hand. 

I also laugh at the many years I have worked but I still don't master anything. I hate how my experience amounts to nothing on every application I send, it hurts a little that I am replaceable and easy to forget.

Honestly though, I cry at how stupid I seem on paper, at how easy to delete my resume is and how easy to drop my call is. It makes it difficult to wake up and try again. It puts a person in a space of being tired to live but also wanting to survive. 

I wholeheartedly agree that my experience is inferior and my qualifications don't make me special. I agree that nothing sets me apart, that it's easy to find someone like me, that I am easy to overlook and my existance doesn't make any difference, honestly, I see why it's easy to refer to me as number 318 on row 2 seat 12.

No, I have no external pressure. I am not looking at anyone else's success, 'am not feeling like time is running out more than it already has, I am not stressed, I am just feeling like I am asking "what is going on" a lot. I often wonder what am I paying attention to when God speaks. I've missed so many instructions of my destination that I get lost ever so often.

Legale, 'am just writing to comfort myself.